Interstellar (2014) Movie DVD Icon

It's not the first time I've been doing things like dismantling fiction, in this case, the future of our home planet. That's why I decided to watch the new movie "Interstellar". The film was much advertised as a kind of pinnacle of science, fiction, psychology, blah blah blah and so on. Especially the trailer of the movie, where the music from the movie "V means Vendetta" sounded, gave a feeling. Unfortunately, as expected, not all that glitters is gold. The whole big advertising campaign was thrown to the wind, and most of the audience left the cinema in the first half hour, loudly indignant. Why? Yes, because instead of normal fiction on the topic of "saving humanity" they were shown some kind of inarticulate stupidity!

No, it cannot be said that there is no science in the film. There is also space travel, and such mysteries of the universe as "wormhole", "black hole" and "loops in time". But at the same time, the plot of the film looks as if it was not adults who helped compose it, but second-year students. There are so many logical holes here that the whole movie looks like Swiss cheese, and the reality in this movie seems to be standing on its head, walking on its ears and eating backwards! Otherwise, I simply have no other explanation for why there is so much idiocy in this film! But let's get everything in order:

Where does the film begin? The first half-hour of the film is devoted to "chewing bast" about the fact that "the earth took up arms against us", "it was so unexpected" and other chatter of pensioners. It also shows huge fields of corn, but at the same time they say that other crops have already died, but for some reason corn is still standing! Also, everyone talks that they are very, very hungry, but for some reason there are no food deficiencies in any house! At the same time, terrible dust storms are shown, while not affecting corn fields in any way. What happened? Well, apparently, people have finally exceeded the plan to destroy the environment, that is, they have completely cut down forests, flooded lakes and rivers with industrial waste, polluted the air with garbage and exhaust, and now everyone is whining, blaming Mother nature for everything! It is clear to a fool that if you spit into the well from which you drink, there will be no good from it, which means why blame another when it's your own fault? But no, instead, everyone blames nature for everything!

By the way, how are things going in cities and other countries? Why is it not shown anywhere what is happening in other regions of the country, how the population reacts to it? But no, all they show us are fields of corn and a small farm. A former NASA pilot named Cooper lives in this farm. Also lives his son, who dreams of growing corn, his daughter, who has the makings of a scientist, his father-in-law live with him, and that's all, no one else. There are robotic harvesters on the farm, it would seem that manual labor is almost excluded, but no! Apparently, the farm will soon be shut down due to large dust storms. By the way, there is dust everywhere: on furniture, on plates, on food. It is clear that our business is in rural areas, where cleanliness is a special matter, but why does no one clean the house? As for the plates, they all lie upside down, but for some reason no one even thinks to turn them over. And that's how things are in this whole movie: where there is a simple solution, they will do it through the fifth point, and even with "thoughtful philosophizing"!

Life on the farm flows normally: from entertainment, only trips through the fields, and catching unattended drones. By the way, that drone Cooper and the family caught was the property of India, and had been flying over America for ten years! And where did he get the fuel from? Cooper says that his energy comes from solar panels! Super! Doesn't Nolan and his crazy brother know that jet drones use kerosene? Who advised these jerks at all? Cooper, however, also does not shine with his mind: he claims that the drone batteries will be able to provide their house with energy for as long as ten years! Turn on your brain, smartass! These batteries won't even be enough for a washing machine, let alone for your house!

Cooper brings the dismantled drone to the town, where our hero meets with two teachers. A conversation takes place, during which it turns out how our geniuses drove themselves into such a sewer: Cooper declares that he pays taxes on an army that no longer exists! Uh-huh, but what about the bombing from the stratosphere, for the failures of which NASA was closed? What about the crisis, riots, riots? Are the Salvation Army already doing this? "Scientists", however, are also idiots: they claim that the Apollo flights to the Moon were just a fiction to ruin the USSR! In other words, children are being robbed of one of the nation's greatest achievements! Further - more: these clowns declare that they do not need engineers, doctors, or scientists, so the whole color of science can be sent to the village to grow corn right now! Drought, dust storms? Fuck them all! America is a chosen nation, the Lord will not leave it!

In other words, already in the first half hour, the film begins to disappoint: instead of a normal future, we are shown some village bumpkins living in the middle of nowhere. Instead of telling us what happened in this world of idiots, we are only shown the confused testimony of old people. Instead of science, there is a natural schizophrenia: everything is very bad, but maybe everything will get better, life will tell you what to do, maybe the curve will take out! It is clear why after half an hour of viewing, many viewers were outraged by this bullshit. But all this is just a prelude to the main thing.

On Cooper's farm, the devil knows what begins to happen: at first, the compasses of the roboharvesters were turned off, although they use the GPS system, then the daughter, Murph, resorts to the father, screaming: "Dad, I have a ghost in my room!" Why such a scream? Well, books got into the room! Then, during a dust storm, the dust lay on the floor in binary code! Cooper, immediately, with unknown fright, decides that these are the coordinates, and immediately goes there. Murph follows him, and by nightfall they reach the destination of the journey: a kind of secret laboratory where the whole color of American science is collected! Who runs it? No, not the CIA or the Department of Defense, but NASA! Yes, it is not the government, not the UN, but the National Aerospace Association that is engaged in saving the entire civilization! And why didn't Cooper know about this before? Why didn't these eggheads find him, a retired pilot? Why didn't you think of making contact earlier, calling him, sending him a letter, finally? But no, let the best ace vegetate on the farm, and we will save humanity ourselves, somehow! And by the way, remember that NASA was shut down for refusing to drop bombs? So, this is what the Air Force is doing, not astronauts! Did Nolan watch Verhoeven's "Starship Troopers" and think that the people of the future are getting dumb? Although if you look at his "Dunkirk", it immediately becomes clear what's the matter!

So what do our great minds in nation do? Well, apparently, it was decided to put a big threaded bolt on saving the Earth and fly somewhere into space to look for a new planet for people. Moreover, it turns out that the Earth is already on the verge of extinction, so we must immediately collect a large ash and get out of here before everyone dies. But where to go? The chief professor, Dr. Brent, declares: a "wormhole" was formed near Saturn, which was opened by some "they". A squad of superman scouts has already been sent there, who flew in - and did not return! But the signal from there showed that there are several planets suitable for life. They are already preparing a second group of scouts, and they are all Americans! And what about China, Russia, France? Are they no longer engaged in space there? But this is not important: the whole group flew only on simulators! Appreciate the depth of stupidity: the best NASA pilot lives a few kilometers from the base, does not even hide, but no one remembers about him! Instead, they prepare only half-educated people who have never flown, let alone on rockets, even on airplanes! Further, the intensity of madness only grows: the professor puts forward two plans to save the Earth. The first plan is to conquer gravity, bring out a huge station and transport all people to another galaxy on it. There are questions with this plan again: if people are sent, then the same pathogen will fly with them, because of which they were forced to leave the Earth. How will they fight him there? Let's not forget the fact that the planet also needs to be terraformed, that is, transformed into the right way of life for earthlings, since not every planet is suitable for life. How will they deal with this case? And as for the pathogen, why not build insulators on Earth to somehow protect the future population of New Earth from it? In other words, there are more questions in this variant than answers. The second plan is to grow people from test tubes brought with them by the Cooper four. And here again the questions are: how will they be raised there, in what conditions? How are things going with fruits, vegetables, meat? What kind of upbringing will they receive? And again - there are more questions than answers.

Cooper agrees, which infuriates Murph: "You're leaving me, you're stupid, you're going to die!", and so on! As a result, Cooper leaves without saying goodbye, and takes off with the team of "rescuers of humanity". And then you start swearing again: the take-off takes place with the help of a rocket, but they land on other planets and take off with the help of mega-shuttles! Okay, that it was done for the sake of saving fuel, but then what about manual docking to the station, although it could be done automatically? In other words, real NASA employees watch this bullshit and spit in disgust! Meanwhile, we are introduced to mega-robots that can do a lot of things: for example, joke, walk, talk, transform. The crew of the station consists of Cooper himself, the daughter of Professor Dr. Brent, one black man and one bearded man. They all go to bed together until their station reaches Saturn, in special cryo-modules. Here again, once again, you start swearing: in the bedroom, the floor is covered with tiles, like in a bath, and the cells themselves are dirty, as if someone danced on them! If we recall the past fantastic films, then the neatness of the sleeping quarters is clearly and clearly shown there: after all, this is the place where those who lead this pepelac sleep, which means that various diseases are guaranteed there without cleanliness! But no, the sleeping places at the mega-station are dirty, like in a homeless shelter!

Two years later, the station reaches Saturn, everyone is awake, everything is fine, but Cooper's daughter Murph is still sulking at Dad! The girl should be proud of her father that he flew to save her, but no! Instead, we'll be screaming "Daddy left us!" Besides Cooper, it's also bad for a black man: he only now realized that he was separated from that very emptiness by two meters of skin and no armor! And how did he guess? After the next batch of snot, our mega-heroes bravely dive into the "wormhole". It is not clear why they did not send a reconnaissance probe there, then they would have saved time, and further "adventures in the land of Oz" could have been avoided. But no, instead we take the helm and head towards the unknown! It's strange that at the same time they flew to where they needed to, and not to Nowhere Mountain, because there are plenty of options here: a "mole" is like a tunnel with many exits, you don't know which one you will get into. Remember Alice from Wonderland? That's exactly the same here! While they are flying, Dr. Brent hammers a safety bolt and shakes hands with unknown people. What if he pulls you out of the ship now? What are we going to do then? But risk is a noble thing for a scientist!

And here they are on the other side, and exactly where they need to be, or rather, where the Nolans need to be. But here's the problem: there are three potentially habitable planets here, but the data sent by the three clowns who arrived there earlier is not enough, so everything will have to be solved at your own risk. And why not send satellites there to survey the planets? Why risk people and equipment if you don't have enough fuel for a round-the-world voyage? Send probes there and watch photos and videos, then you won't have to go to hell on horns! But no, as I already said, everything in this film is solved through the fifth point, so we hammer the bolt on safety, spit on human lives and start personally exploring the planets!

In addition to the planets, there is also a Sun star in this system, and a huge black hole, and a neutron star from which you should stay away. If we evaluate the planets by their suitability, then the planet Edmond, which rotates next to the Sun-star, is best suited. The other two planets, Miller and Mann, are only conditionally suitable, because they are spinning near that very hole. An hour is seven years for Miller, so flying there means spending more time and fuel. In addition, let's not forget that these two planets are far from the star, therefore the temperature on them will be too cold for colonization. But no, again we will solve everything through the fifth point. Since it is further to fly to Edmond than to Miller, Cooper suggests leaving the station far from Miller, and arriving by shuttle ourselves. But then they will lose a lot of fuel, which is problematic. What do Cooper's colleagues decide? Well, there is water, there is organic matter, and the whole planet is awesome, what you need! How did they know? From Miller! She has already managed to explore this world in ten minutes, and all her data surpasses the data of other mega-heroes! Why? Because we are scientists, and you, Cooper, are an ordinary pilot! Cooper offers to go down to the planet, pick up Miller, study her data, and only then make decisions. And why not study it from the outside? It's all the same because you have to spend years, but then you won't waste fuel! But it won't be interesting, so we get into the shuttle and go straight to the planet!

The planet Miller is all covered with water, where the earth is, it is unclear. Despite this, the shuttle lands on the water, and they all wander knee-deep in the water! And if there are whole oceans? Who will grow your gills, Prince Neymor? But our supermen wander in this water and find the Miller shuttle, or rather, what's left of it. Suddenly, a huge wave, the size of a city, forms on the horizon! It's clear to a fool that it's time to get out of here, but "Dr." Brent's brains seem to have completely rusted, and she's still trying to save data that, in fact, is no longer needed: after all, if there are such huge waves on this planet, who will live here at all? The second baboon, Doyle, looked at this uber wave so much that he completely forgot where he was and what was happening to him. Fortunately, the mega-robot transforms, rescues Brent, drags her into the shuttle, but Doyle doesn't even think about running! Was this idiot dragged out of a lunatic asylum? The result is a little predictable: Doyle is washed away by an uber wave, and the shuttle rides on extreme surfing! But thank the cheat code, everything is fine, the shuttle is intact, and the people are fine, except for Brent, who even now did not understand the essence of her idiocy! While the engines are drying, Cooper and Brent are enthusiastically yelling at each other. By the way, why was the Miller module dragged all over the planet? Physics in this film works somehow idiotically, obeying not the laws of logic, but the will of idiots Nolan. And if we're talking about Miller here, why didn't they contacted her, since she landed not so long ago? Miller probably would have shouted into the microphone with all of her might and main: "Don't come down here, there are mega waves! Why the fuck did I land here?! Why didn't I stay in orbit?!"

Then a wave appears again, and Cooper, blowing the engines with oxygen, takes off. And why couldn't it have been done earlier, you see, and riding a wave could have been avoided? But then there would be no stupid shouting at each other! Personally, if I were Cooper, I would slap Brent in the face, and at the same time I would immediately fly to hell from this planet, well, to the pigs!

While they were fooling around there, 23 years passed at the station. What was Romilly doing all this time? Nothing! He sat there, and sat there, and sat there... that's how he sat alone! How about going to bed? Lie down in a cryo-sleep, and your colleagues will arrive there and wake you up. But no, our mega-scientist is only busy sitting! What's on Earth? The father-in-law died, the son started a family, but Murph is still sulking at his dad! And after all, she has already grown up, works at that very NASA center, but by no one, but as an assistant professor! But no, the stupid sheep still blames her father for abandoning her!

And then again questions to Nolan: why do signals from Earth come, but do not go back? Why do the signals from the three mega-heroes on the planets come, but the answers to them do not come? What the hell was that sulking Murph scene for? For the sake of simply chewing snot and stalling for time? Is this, in your opinion, psychology? By the way, Murph is dealing with the very problem of gravity, which the professor was supposed to be dealing with, but for some reason he just keeps silent and rides in his wheelchair, and put a big bolt on the problem! What's at the station? Well, another "dispute of great scientists", or rather, the nonsense of a gray mare! The information came from both planets, but Cooper believes that it is necessary to fly to the planet Mann! Why? Because Edmond is Brent's lover! Come again, right? Just because the doctor is in love with another clown, it's not worth flying to the planet to him? What kind of nonsense is this? But no, Brent, instead of proving his case, is lying to the men about the "great power of love"! Oh, how sweet! Yes, but this is not a melodrama, but a film fantasy about the salvation of mankind! If you want to watch love, love movies - in another cinema. On the screen, Cooper and Romilly hammer a bolt on Brent's snot about love and decide to fly to the planet Mann.

Meanwhile, the mega-professor is dying, but before that he gives out such insanity that he wants to kill this freak: he declares that there is NO plan A! While Murph hates Dad even more, our mega-heroes land on the planet Manna. The planet is not that unsuitable for life, there can be no life at all at all: the air is poisonous, the clouds are ice blocks, and the entire surface of the planet is an icy desert. A fool should immediately understand that it is impossible to live on such a planet, not only for the whole of humanity, but also for one person! But our supermen land, wander and find Mann's camp. When he wakes up, he strikes our heroes with the truth, as they say, on the spot: it turns out that he was lying all this time, and spent most of the time sleeping! Then a message comes from Murph: she is angry at her father and the team of idiots more than ever, declares that they left them all to die, that they are sons of bitches, and everything else. Brent is shocked: "How so?!" Mann explains: there was no plan A in nature because all the data can be in a black hole, that's why the old man was leading us all by the nose! Cooper is furious: there are people dying on Earth, and in the meantime they are fooling around! As a result, a plan to fly home is adopted, but then Romilly makes a proposal: equip the probe, send it into a black hole, get the necessary data and save humanity! And why didn't you do it earlier? After all, you've been hanging out there for a long time, more than one year! During the time while you were chewing snot there, a hundred, if not a thousand probes could be launched into the hole. But, as I already said, in this film everything is solved through the ass, so only now, when things have already come to an end, we make a wise decision! However, instead of immediately flying to the station and starting to solve the problem, our idiots are wandering around the planet, fooling around! I'm already getting tired of all this idiocy: any reasonable hero would have sent probes a long time ago, learned all the information about the planets, then, having learned that the planets are not suitable, would have sent a probe into the hole, would have received the necessary data and would have made the right decision. But not in this universe of idiots, where Mann wanders with Cooper, telling him stories about how spaceships plow the universe of the Nolan's head. Even an idiot would have sensed, that something was wrong here, but not our mega-pilot! Mann knocks him out, blows up the module, killing Romilly, gets on the shuttle and rushes to the station!

While there is a showdown between idiots in space, a doctor comes to Murph's brother on Earth. He discovers a terrible illness in his brother's son and says that they should leave, but he freaks out in response and hits the doctor in the face! And I thought Murph was a stupid sheep! She tries to save her stupid brother, but he stands his ground: "I'll die here, but I won't leave!" Meanwhile, Brent saves Cooper, and together they fly to stop maniac Mann. And he tried to dock to the station, but the trouble is: you have to dock to it manually, have you forgotten the last docking? The result is obvious: BANG!

The shuttle with Mann blows to pieces, the station turns like a bundle and flies away, and our mega-heroes are trying to save it. Or rather, to save the capsules with genes. But what's next? Now there is no fuel to go home, and you can only fly to the third planet. And Brent flies away at her, and Cooper and the robot jump into the black hole.

Meanwhile, on Earth, Murph will save his brother by burning down his corn field, which is generally already tired. At the same time, in the hole, a real nonsense begins to happen, as a result of which the very reality I have already mentioned begins to dance on its head, walk with its ears and eat with its back: Cooper falls into some kind of cube, which is bookcases. There he sees his whole life. Cooper tries to change the past, but only provokes events. Only now does he realize that he is the very ghost, or rather, the ghost of his past. Meanwhile, Murph enters his room for the last time. And only now does the stupid sheep realize that her dad didn't leave her! How did she know that? Yes, through the great power of love! I immediately had a desire to throw something heavy at the screen: what kind of nonsense is this?!

Meanwhile, a Robot contacts Cooper. While this idiot was chewing snot, our mega-transformer had already managed to fly through the whole hole, got all the necessary information, and now he is ready to share with Cooper. And then the mega-heresy begins: Cooper begins to "figure out" what is happening! It turns out that the hole was not built by people of the future, but by people of the past, and they also built the wormhole! My brain is already splitting from such nonsense, and Cooper continues: we need to translate the data into Morse code and transmit it through the power of love!

That's it! There's nowhere else to go! If all this nonsense is further called "the pinnacle of film fantasy", then I will be the first to throw a stone at that! It is impossible to translate formulas, logarithms, roots using Morse code, they can only be written! So write it in your notebook, you clinical idiot! Stop complicating everything, solve everything through the ass!

The finale can no longer be commented on: everything is so far-fetched that the happy ending looks stupider than ever. There's a mega formula, and a mega station, and an old Murph, and Brent, who landed on a stone planet and grew test tubes with people there. All this is so uninteresting that it's even boring.

What is the outcome of this whole film? Well, the fact that this is another fake science fiction! They seem to be talking about saving humanity, but a lot of time passes, and for some reason it hasn't died yet. They seem to talk about space, but they give out such nonsense that real astronauts spit on this from a large orbit! The number of logical holes is incalculable, and there are so many unanswered questions that a million experts cannot answer them. Instead of science, they give us some nonsense like there is no need to strain our brains in search of a solution to the problem, there is no need to develop science, ecology, culture, all this will be solved by itself. You just have to believe in some "great power of love, and everything will be great! One cannot, of course, say that there is no science here. It exists: black holes, and various theories there, and so on. But Kip Thorne is to be thanked for that, not the idiot brothers. It is a pity that other scientists were not invited, then it would still be possible to watch it. But the result was some unintelligible nonsense: fragments of the past, stupid hysteria, idiocy squared, hysterics again, and so on until the end of the film. The way other lovers of "slobbery novels" watch this picture even until the end of the century, I need a normal plot with normal people behaving like real characters, and not like degenerates. What's the point of saving humanity when it consists of nothing but idiots?